Live Without Warning
(Oh Captain, My Captain Remix)

Author: Twinkledru J.

Original Story: Live Without Warning by Zara Hemla

Summary: How Mal knew.

Rating: PG-13

Fandom: Firefly

There are Alliance hands on her, and she longs to rip them off.

But she is stretched, she is balanced, she is in equilibrium, and she has nothing to spare that she can rip off the searching hands with. There is death outside and life inside -- and sometimes there's death inside too -- and she is too busy balancing to rip hands off.

"You promised," she whispers, too soft for anyone to hear.

But not Mal. That's why he's the Captain, after all. She knows that he hears her.

There are Alliance hands on her, and Simon and River cower. She can't hide them forever. She likes them, but she cannot risk the balance just for those two.

"You promised," she repeats.

She's his responsibility. That's the deal. He takes care of her, and she helps him with his fucking mad crusade against the Way Things Are. That's why he's the Captain. Because he knows her, and he takes care of her, and she protects him and carries him and his people.

And he fucking protects her. That's the deal.

"I know where he is," she says, not bothering to whisper anymore, because he's the Captain and he's doing nothing and he deserves this. "I know where he is, and they're going to pull me apart. You think I'll let them do that, Mal? I'll rip them apart first."

He wants to answer. She can feel it. "I will kill them, Mal. I will, and if it means I have to kill all of you to do it, so be it. And the only thing I'll regret is that that Alliance ship will blow me apart, and I won't be able to kill you later, because *you promised*."

In his own way, Mal answers. Shut up, he screams, and she can feel his silent words echoing off of her walls.

"Like hell. You wanted me, baby, and you got me. And look where you are now, you fucker. We had a deal, Mal. You protect me, I protect you. That's why you're the Captain. Now act like a fucking Captain! Help them find him, you bastard!"

She is frightened, and furious. She will make him feel her fear too, and she will make him sorry.

If I promise to get them off, Mal starts. His voice is weary, but she doesn't feel bad. He thinks he's tired. When he has kept this balance for as many years as she has, then she'll believe that he's tired. When he has given all he's fucking got to save her, then she'll believe he's tired.

Alliance hands are on her, and Mal continues. If I promise to get them off, will you please shut up?

He gets it now, maybe. "Yes," she tells him, and is calmed. He gets it now. "Yes, Mal. Thank you."

She's docile now, obedient, but he won't forget for a long time. He is in her care, but she's his responsibility.

That's why he's the Captain.

end

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