In
Their Own Words
15
August 2001
This
is the section where some of our favorite authors will share with
us (and you) their favorite stories from among their own work. The
lovely and talented Pix mentioned this idea to me in an e-mail,
saying how she thought it might be an interesting contrast with
the typical recommendations lists so prevalent on fan fic websites.
I,
of course, immediately wondered the same thing, and so, here we
are. This will be a weekly feature, with past Authors' Picks being
archived on a page called "From
the Desk of..."
So,
let us begin...
This
week we have the Splendiferous Terri, writer of such famous Logan/Rogue
fics as the Eighteen Series, the Alter-Eighteen Series, and the
...With Marie Series. Click on the name of the story within the
text below if you'd like to read it.
Terri
says...
OK,
after much thoughtful consideration, or at least a big cup of coffee,
I have settled on my own top five, in no particular order:
1)
Eighteen
Cities in Twenty-One Days - a favorite for a lot of reasons.
It was the second x-men story I'd ever posted and the one that kind
of tipped the scales and made me really get into writing them. It
was also the one that set the motif for the "eighteen" series -
I've cursed myself a lot for doing that later on when I had to think
up a way to fit the number eighteen into all the subsequent stories!
With this one, the title came to me first, and I did a vague outline
of the plot. Then, I spent an afternoon with an atlas and tried
to scout out a logical route for them to follow. I tried to pick
places that I'd actually been, so that I'd be able to write about
them realistically, even down to some of the restaurants, shops,
and hotels they wound up in.
The
original concept did not include any of the Marie journal entries
- I wanted to come up with eighteen different characters to interact
with or observe them. But as I wrote it, I figured out that:
1) It's really hard to think up 18 original, interesting characters
that still made sense in the story, and 2) Some of the story was
best told from Marie's POV. The part I got especially stuck on was
the fight at Los Alamos - that's the first one where I threw up
my hands and said to myself, "You know what? I think Marie needs
to keep a journal!" I went back and added other journal entries
after that. The second harderst part to write was the last part,
the Cranbrook chapter. I waffled a lot about how to end the story,
and wrote one version that had Logan burying Marie, dead from injuries
suffered in the reverse-flow of her mutation, one that had him passing
through Cranbrook alone, having left Marie anyway, and one with
an ultra-happy ending where Logan could now touch Marie. I wasn't
happy with any of those, though, and settled finally on a cliffhanger
with Mystique eavesdropping. That also became a pattern with me
in this series :) In short, it took a LONG time to write, and it
didn't come easy, but I thought it turned out reasonably well in
the end, and that's probably why it's a favorite ;)
2)
Alter-Eighteen:
Giving Up - This one was the first story I really got flamey
feedback on. It came out of me kind of getting tired of seeing Rogue
wait around for Logan or patiently tolerate him having a fling with
Jean in other fics. I just thought that there was a side to Rogue
that would be completely shell-shocked by Logan taking up with Jean
because it was so contrary to the love she probably felt from the
piece of him she had inside her head. She wouldn't pretend to be
friends, she wouldn't want to have anything to do with him, and
she'd begin to emotionally shut down. I thought she had pretty strong
survival instincts, though, and she'd still probably instinctively
try to go on somehow. I also wanted to try to show her as a teenager
- someone who's reacting to a huge emotional blow in her life without
complete grace and maturity - but also as a pretty level-headed
and strong girl for her age.
Getting
her together with Hank just seemed to make sense to me. He's a lot
older, and I think Rogue is looking for a father figure in part.
He's a lot different than Logan - almost a 180 degree difference
in terms of personality. Hank's refined, intelligent, articulate,
reasoned, logical. But he's also got the physical presence that
would make Rogue feel safe and protected. For his part, I thought
that Hank would feel a kinship with her because of the severity
of her mutation, and would apreciate her artistic side. So, in short,
I thought they fit together.
But
whoa, nelly, did people ever disagree! This story got (at the time)
the most and the most diverse feedback of any I'd posted. There
were e-mails chastising me for disloyalty to the W/R 'ship for showing
Logan and Rogue with someone else (which I don't think I'd seriously
done in any of my fics up to that point). There were e-mails saying
that the story was poorly written and that everybody acted out of
character. There were e-mails saying that the story wasn't fair
to Jean or to Logan. There were e-mails saying that the idea of
Rogue/Hank was laughable. There were e-mails complaining that I'd
killed Hank off as a cheap plot device and others saying that they
were glad he bought it so that Logan and Rogue could get back together.
I've always been truly amazed by the diversity of takes on this
story, and how strongly some people reacted to it, and I still am.
But this story remains one of my favorites because for me, at least,
it worked. It felt right and it felt complete.
3)
In
August - Here's another one that got some interesting reactions.
Many of my fics feature BadJean to some degree. I don't like her,
and it shows in many of my stories. I know many people do like her,
and that's why I place a BadJean warning in the notes when she pops
up in my fic. Most of the feisty e-mails in response to this one
were centered around Jean, but to me, this was really a story all
about Rogue growing up and dragging Logan along with her a little
bit.
In
the opening sections, she's very angry at Logan for choosing Jean
over her. She reacts like I would've when I was her age - You want
Jean, you don't want me, so I never want to see you again, stay
the hell out of my life. In fact, Rogue is so angry and hurt that
she chooses to leave the only stability she's had in recent years.
But when she leaves, she doesn't repeat her 'mistake' with Logan
- she doesn't jump right into another relationship. She learns that
she can stand on her own two feet when she has to, and that she
can make the life that she wants, or at least the one she thinks
she wants. That, plus her bad experience with Logan, leads to her
putting a high value on independence, to her seeing that as being
the sign of an 'adult' - someone who doesn't need anyone.
Then
fate intervenes in the form of Magneto (injuring Logan) and Jean
(going to Rogue). Rogue realizes that maybe she doesn't have the
luxury of tossing people that she cares for out of her life even
if they have hurt her. Logan being so physically weak, and by this
point, somewhat emotionally exhausted too, allows her to view him
as less of a threat, as less likely to be able to hurt her. She
decides to take him with her, to try to improve the relationship.
It's the first sign that maybe she's rethinking the independence
thing - maybe she does need to fix this relationship, at least a
little - and considering forgiveness as an option.
The
subsequent way they work it out makes them both mature some. Logan
has to allow Rogue to care for him, he has to depend on her. And
what he says in the story is right - she won't run away if she thinks
he needs her. It's forcing them to work it out instead of either
one giving up when things got rough. And they do come to a much
better relationship - they btoh need each other a little, and fully
realize the responsibilities and dangers of that.
4)
Alter-Eighteen:
A Sort of Homecoming - Yet another flame-generator, although
I admit I expected that this time around. And in retrospect, the
fact that what I was trying to get across with this wasn't what
made it through to so many people who read it makes me think that
maybe this story only makes sense to me. But then again, you asked
for *my* favorites ;)
One
of the things that prompted this story was the fact that in the
movie, and in many fics, we see Logan risking and suffering a lot
of physical harm for Rogue. Everybody seems pretty OK with that,
and doesn't really bat an eyelash at Logan being put into comas
or laying open life-threatening wounds to give Rogue his healing
power. I wanted a story that showed Rogue making a big (and not
just emotional) sacrifice for Logan.
I
also wanted a story that explored just how far someone would go
on faith in a relationship. To anyone looking at their first sexual
encounter from the outside, Logan is treating Rogue pretty brutally,
and there doesn't seem to be any locigal reason or any possible
excuse for his behavior. Rogue doesn't have any idea why he's doing
it at that point, but she thinks it's what he needs, so she gives
it to him without knowing the 'why' behind it.
Rogue
knows he's not acting this way in order to hurt her; he's not getting
enjoyment or satisfaction from the fact that he's causing her pain.
This in a way, confirms her gut instinct to give Logan what he needs.
When the whole story comes out, it still doesn't excuse or
justify Logan's behavior that night, but it explains it. Rogue lets
that night and the hurt he caused her pass - she knows he's truly
sorry and that it won't happen again - and takes care of him where
he needs it.
A
lot of people didn't see this story as having to do with love and
sacrifice, though. There were e-mails that complained that Logan
had raped Marie that night, and that this Logan had no sense of
honor. There were e-mails that said - what a sad story about Marie
wanting to be abused. There were e-mails that said she should have
never forgiven him. I knew it could be controversial when I wrote
it, and I waffled a little about posting it. But I felt that the
idea of that kind of huge give and take in a relationship - that
question of - How far would you go for love? - was worth a little
exploring.
5)
Eighteen
Songs to Converse By - Ah, yes, the dreaded songfic! This
is one of my favorites, though, and mostly because I love the music
that's in it. The concept here was to show Logan and Rogue fighting
in a way that I hadn't really seen in fics before. Either they were
portrayed as having a perfectly in synch relationship, or they had
some kind of fight over a super-angsty situation or misunderstanding.
I couldn't remember ever having seen just an 'everyday' kind of
fight between them.
I
also wanted them to talk to each other, really talk. I hadn't
done that very much to date in the eighteen series, and they both
struck me as two people who wouldn't be afraid to hash it out. Rogue,
especially struck me as someone willing to put her emotional cards
on the table. When the story was done, I was really happy with the
fight they had and the way it is resolved. It rang true to me for
both characters and for the situation.
What
I've gotten the most feedback on this story (yes, even more than
- ewwww, songfic!) was the condom-shopping scene at the end. That
came to me simply because we needed two more chapters for the story
- we only had sixteen as it was originally written. The Cowboy Junkies
chapter was added when that song and how well it could fit the W/R
relationship occurred to me. The condom scene started out as just
a little piece reflecting Rogue's emotional high from resolving
the argument. I swear, she took the fic right out of my hands and
wandered into that condom aisle all on her own.....
~~*~~
So
there you have it — Terri, in her own words...
~~*~~
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