Quilts! Quilts! Quilts!

Okay! This is a page dedicated to quilts. The more astute of you will have figured that part out already, but it never hurts to be sure, especially with the kind of people who visit my webpage. You wouldn't believe some of the mutants we get around here.

Uh, not you, of course. You're the exception to the rule. Really. I mean it.

Anyway, on to the quilting stuff. I've got some pictures of quilts made by my mother and by my friend Amy, with commentary by yours truly. I make no guarantees about the accuracy, intelligence or coherence of the commentary. To be honest, I know very little about quilting. I don't know much about the history of quilting or the various techniques used. Chances are good that my mom thinks she's educated me at least a bit about these things over the years, but the truth is when she starts talking about quilts I generally just nod my head and grunt occasionally. Seeing as how that's about all I ever do anyway, there was really no way for mom to know I wasn't paying attention. So don't blame her, folks, she's the victim here.

Hopefully I'll be able to get Mom and Amy to contribute some history and specifics for the various quilts you'll be seeing. Until then you'll have to rely on my expert opinion. After all, I may not know quilts but I do know Mom and Amy.

Speaking of, I figure I'll give you some info on them before we get to the quilts themselves. It might help you to understand them just a little bit more. And that's all the world needs, just a little more understanding, don't ya think?

Anyway...

Mom

Name: Barbara Meilinger

Aliases (Alii?): Mom, Indira Gandhi, The Hillside Strangler

Date of Birth: None of your business. She's old enough that when I complain about how old I feel she threatens to kill me, if that tells you anything.

Interests: Quilting (duh), Anthropology, Ultimate Fighting, Biking, Hillside Strangling

Favorite TV Show, Past: Dr. Quinn, Medicine Woman (Unfortunately, I'm not kidding)

Favorite TV Show, Present: La Femme Nikita. And hey, she actually likes the show on its own merits and not just because Peta Wilson is so damned gorgeous.

Something not many people know about her: She is the only thing standing between the world and global nuclear annihilation. Cool, huh?

Biographical and Personalitycal Factoids

She was born down in a dead man's town. The first hit she took was when she hit the ground.
Rumor has it she was also born to be wild and born to run, but neither can be verified at this time.
Her mama was a tailor, sewed her new blue jeans.
Her father was a gambling man, down in New Orleans.
Her mama don't dance and her daddy don't rock and roll.
She killed her a bar when she was only three.
She believes in Rock and Roll. That music can save your mortal soul. And she can teach you how to dance real slow.
All the sailors say "Barbara, she's a fine girl, what a good wife she would be. But my life, my love and my lady is the sea."
Doo da da doo da da doo doo doo...
She can dance if she wants to, she can leave-a your friends behind.
Because you're friends don't dance, and if they don't dance, well they're no friends of hers. Mine. (Damn!)
She's got the Eye of the Tiger, the thrill of the fight, rising up to the challenge of her rivals.
She is a rock. She is an I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-Island.

Amy

Name: Amy Jordan

Aliases: Aim, Sex-Kitten, Petunia

Date of Birth: December 17, 1972. Which makes us birthday buddies, since I was also born on December 17th.

Interests: Quilting, other craft-type stuff, tormenting Pete.

Favorite TV Show, Past: Little House On The Prairie. Sheesh.

Favorite TV Show, Present: Couldn't tell ya, actually. Hey Amy, what's the answer?

Something not many people know about her: She is the only person to ever witness the Great Chinchilla of the South End, Harbinger of Change, and live to tell the tale. Twice!!

Biographical and Personalitycal Factoids

She was born one morning when the son didn't shine. She picked up her shovel and she walked to the mine.
She loaded sixteen tons of number nine coal, and the straw boss said "Well, bless my soul."
She left a good job in the city, working for The Man every night and day.
And she never lost one minute of sleepin' worryin' 'bout the way things might have been.
She shot a man in Reno, just to watch him die.
And when she hears that whistle blowin', she hangs her head and cries.
She's too shy shy, hush hush, eye to eye.
Well, she's the type of gal, who likes to roam around.
She's never in one place, she roams from town to town.
She don't bring me flowers anymore.
She's leaving, on a jet plane. Don't know when she'll be back again.
Oh, babe, she hates to go.

All right, that's quite enough of that I suppose. On to the quilts!

Mom's Quilts

Not all the pictures scanned well, unfortunately, but what can you do?

African Village.

Bird Song

This is one of the quilts featured in my contest, and we've already had several entries trying to explain what's going on in the picture. Head on over and take a crack at it yourself.

A Long Time Ago On The Hudson

Mom named it that because the first show she entered it into had to have an Albany-related theme.

This is the other quilt featured in the current contest.

Houses In The Woods

Or, as Wendy and Tanya called it, Smurf Village

Kurt's quilt - I dreamed I was flying

Get thee to a monastery

The lady leaning on the wall is Ann Cartmell.

Ocean Waves

Ohio Star

The other two quilts are by Linda O'Connor.

With apologies to Erik Van Daniken

This is one of my favorites, and it's probably the only good thing to ever come out of that schmuck Van Daniken's work.

Wendy's Quilt (left) and Cherry Wreath (right)

Amy's Quilts

I don't know as much as I'd like to about all of Amy's quilts. Hopefully she can tell me more to add to the descriptions here.

This is the first quilt of Amy's that I ever saw. I'm not sure if it was her first quilt or not.

This is a baby quilt Amy made. I'm not sure if it was for a specific kid or just for the heck of it.

This is a neat star quilt.

This is a quilt Amy made for her godson Tyler.

This is the quilt Amy made for her brother Bobby for Christmas last year.

This quilt is "The Monkey Tree." Amy made it for Bobby for his 30th birthday. As I understand it, it depicts the tree Bobby and Amy used to play on when they were kids.

For those keeping score at home, that's two quilts Amy's made for Bobby, and none for me. But I'm not bitter.

Okay, that's all of the quilts for now. Pretty soon I hope to revive my world-famous Quilt Contest, though, and man alive will the fun-factor shoot through the roof then!!! This place'll be so hopping you'll think it's a frog factory!

Or something like that...

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