Knight In Shining Armor
Part Two
When I woke up, my eyes were still red and sore from crying. I reached over to turn off the alarm, wondering why I'd bothered to set it, and why exactly I should get out of bed.
Then I remembered. The lecture. I was TA-ing for Professor Winthrop, and he'd asked me to take over the make-up lecture for him. I had a sneaking suspicion it was mostly because he didn't want to come in on a Saturday, but I'd still leapt at the chance.
I didn't much feel like leaping at the moment. "Yippee," I griped as I stumbled out of bed into the bathroom. I tried very hard not to think about Xander, but that never works. I spent ten minutes of crying and feeling sorry for myself, then ruthlessly cut off my emotions.
<I'm not going to think about him today. Tomorrow is soon enough. Not today.>
That didn't work too well, either, but it lasted all the way into breakfast. Not half bad, when you think about it. I made it to the kitchen and grumbled when I saw another note from Buffy on the refrigerator. She and Dawn were out doing something or other. She didn't say what, just that they'd be away all day.
"Great," I muttered. "All my friends are deserting me." Since when did either of those two get up before noon on a Saturday? I was okay, though. I didn't need them. I could get through breakfast by myself.
It wasn't until I was smearing light butter onto my bagel that I started to cry again. Xander always made fun of my light butter. "Butter's supposed to be one hundred percent fat, Will. That's the whole point! You're robbing it of its role in life, woman!"
I had to laugh at the memory of how outraged he always sounded when I'd drag out what he insisted on calling the impostor butter. The laugh died in my throat when I realized I wouldn't be joking with Xander like that for a long time. Maybe not ever again.
<No,> I reassured myself. <We're still friends. It'll be weird for a while, but we're still friends. Best friends. Xander knows what it's like to be on the bad side of a confession like this. He would never let it ruin us.>
I knew I was right, but it still didn't help much. Xander was my best friend, and I'd loved him as a friend all my life. I'd loved him as more than a friend for almost as long, and I'd managed to get over that part of the love once before. I just wasn't sure I could do that again. I wasn't sure I could be just a friend to him anymore. I wasn't sure of anything.
<Stop it. He's your friend. You're his friend. That's a wonderful thing, and you'd better get used to it, because that's all you get. Can you live with that?>
No, I decided, but I wiped away my tears, gathered my things, and set out for the lecture hall.
*****
As much as I hadn't wanted to go to class, it turned out to be just what I needed. That shouldn't have surprised me. Schoolwork has always been an escape for me, and this was even better. I had to pay attention the entire time, to give the lecture and answer questions. I didn't have much opportunity to think about Xander. It helped so much. I resolved then and there to become a teacher of some sort. If I was going to have to live the rest of my life without Xander, I'd need all the distractions I could get.
Inevitably, the lecture ended. I smiled and said goodbye to everyone, but inside, my heart sank. I didn't have anything at all to do for the rest of the day. Normally, I'd have plenty of options. Buffy or Dawn were always up for some fun, or I could go to the Magic Shop. But Buffy and Dawn were nowhere to be found, and if I went to the Magic Shop I'd see Anya. Anya, who was getting back together with Xander.
I didn't cry for long. Just a few minutes. Luckily, there was no one else waiting for the room, or I'd have had some embarrassing explaining to do. I dried my eyes and gathered my things to leave.
The first thing I saw when I opened the door was Anya, leaning against the wall on the opposite side of the hallway.
"Oh, good," she said, "I did have the right room." Her eyes flickered up to mine, and I knew she saw that I'd been crying, but she didn't say anything.
"Anya?" I asked stupidly. "What are you doing here? Shouldn't you be at the Magic Shop?" She always opened up at nine on Saturdays, since one of her best customers liked to come in before lunch.
Anya shook her head. "We're closed today."
Anya had closed the shop? Immediately, I started to panic. "What's wrong? Some kind of emergency, right? Is it the Hellmouth? Or those radioactive zombies again?"
She smiled and said, "No, nothing like that. Everything's fine." Her smile went away as she said, "It's Xander."
I closed my eyes against the care and affection in her voice. Of course. She wanted to make sure I stayed away from her man. I sighed and said, "It's okay, Anya. He's made it clear that he wants you, not me."
She was silent for a moment, then said, "We broke up."
My eyes snapped open. "What?" I demanded.
She half-smiled. "Well, not broke up so much as never got back together again."
"I... I don't understand. You two were doing great together!"
"Yes, we were, but not the way we used to. We're still friends. Better friends than before, I think, but that's all we're going to be." She looked directly into my eyes and said, "There's someone else he'd rather be with."
<Me! Let it be me!> Aloud, I said, "What do you mean?" very carefully, not letting any of the suddenly reborn hope I felt into my voice.
Anya heard it anyway. She just smiled and said, "Walk with me."
She led me out onto the quad and waved towards the corner of the building. I looked over there and saw a group of students laughing and pointing at something out of sight.
Buffy and Dawn marched around the corner in perfect step with each other. They were each wearing the most ridiculous get-up I'd ever seen - weird shoes, tunics and tights, and funky hats with feathers. Dawn was smiling as they walked towards Anya and me. Buffy wasn't smiling, and I could tell she was muttering to herself about how stupid she looked.
I looked at Anya, hoping for an explanation. She just smiled and said, "I won the coin toss." I looked back to Buffy and Dawn.
Buffy stopped griping and gave me a big smile when she and Dawn stopped in front of us. I gave her a weak wave, still trying to catch up. Buffy unrolled a scroll I hadn't noticed and cleared her throat theatrically.
"Hear ye, hear ye," she called out, looking around to make sure everyone in the vicinity was paying attention. She needn't have worried. "This is to be a public proclamation. You are all witnesses, and from here you shall spread the word far and wide, that all may know the truth!" She turned and bowed her head to Dawn.
Dawn unrolled her own scroll with a flourish and began to read. "Be it known, from this day forward, that Alexander Harris is in love with Willow Rosenberg!" She paused to wink and smile at me.
I barely noticed. I was trying very hard to convince myself that I'd heard her right. <Xander loves me. Xander loves me. Xander...>
My legs started to give way, but Anya caught me. I looked up at her in disbelief, and she nodded. "He loves you."
My heart felt like it was dancing a jig inside my chest. I squealed and hugged Anya, then turned back to Dawn. I gestured frantically for her to go on, ignoring all the smiling and laughing people who were watching.
Dawn wiped at a tear in her eye, then said, "We were gonna put more on the scroll, but Xander decided he'd rather tell you in person."
We all looked at the corner Buffy and Dawn had come from. For a long, long moment, nothing happened. Then Xander appeared.
He was riding a horse. He was dressed in plate armor. The horse was beautiful, black as midnight with silver panoply. It walked as if it knew it was the center of attention. For everyone else, maybe it was, but I had eyes only for Xander.
Amazing. That was the only word for the way he looked. Well, maybe not the only word. Gorgeous would also have fit. His armor shone brighter than the sun, and as he rode the horse towards us, he looked like a god entering battle.
Okay, that might be a bit much. Let's go back to gorgeous. He looked better than I'd ever seen him, and that's saying a lot. He wasn't wearing a helmet, and his hair was waving in the breeze. His smile was wider than I'd ever seen, and his eyes were ablaze with love. Love for me. He laughed in delight when he caught my eye, and snapped the reins to make the horse move faster.
I couldn't wait. I ran to meet him, and he reached down and pulled me up into the saddle in front of him. There was so much I had to say, but I couldn't think of the words. There was only one thing I could think to do.
He must've felt the same, because our lips met halfway. The crowd cheered as we kissed, but I barely heard them. I was kissing Xander. Nothing else registered.
"I love you," he whispered when we broke the kiss. He leaned his forehead against mine and stared into my eyes.
"I love you," I told him, not even trying to fight the tears I could feel forming in my eyes. Xander kissed them away as soon as they started to fall. I clutched at him and he held me for a long time. It wasn't all that comfortable, leaning against his armor, but I didn't care. Xander loved me. Nothing else mattered.
Eventually, I looked up into his eyes. "How...?" I asked, unable to finish the thought.
He laughed and kissed me again before answering. "Long story," he said. "But," he went on, forestalling my glare, "there's a short form. Anya knows a guy who jousts at all the Renaissance fairs on the west coast. He buys magic charms to help him win, or something. I didn't ask for details when she came up with the plan."
"This was Anya's idea?" I couldn't believe it.
"Yeah," Xander said. "Well, mostly. Putting Buffy and Dawn in the page costumes was my idea."
I laughed. "I should have known."
He nodded. "Yep. But yeah, Anya's idea. My plan was to just kick down your door at one minute past midnight. The girls thought it lacked a certain romantic panache."
"I'd have to agree," I said. "Though I wouldn't have last night."
He winced. "I'm sorry, hon. I wanted it to be a big gesture. I should've thought of how you felt, but Buffy, Dawn and Anya were so excited by all this that I kinda got caught up in it."
"All three of them? How long were they all in on it?"
"Since about forty-five seconds after you left last night. I jumped on the phone and rallied the troops. They all showed up about twenty minutes later. You must've just missed seeing Buffy and Dawn on your way home."
"I guess so, yeah." I laughed, and then, for some reason, all of a sudden remembered where we were. I was sitting on a horse with Xander, surrounded by gawking students. "Uh, Xander?" I asked. "Could we maybe go somewhere else for awhile? I think we've got some stuff to talk about."
He nodded. "Yeah, we do. Short form, though, before we do the long form. When you came over last night, Anya had just left after giving me the 'let's just be friends' speech." He nodded at the look in my eyes. "Yeah, hit me pretty hard. But when I thought about it, I knew she was right. I love her, but I'm not in love with her anymore. I'm in love with someone else."
"Me?" I asked, just to hear him answer.
"You," he said, laughing at the delight in my eyes. "Only problem was, I had no idea how you felt. I was thinking about whether or not to tell you when you came over. That's why I was acting so weird even before you dropped the bomb on me."
"Makes sense," I said. "Actually, it all makes a lot of sense. I guess the short form's enough. We don't need the long form talk at all, really. What should we do instead, do you think?"
"We could kiss," Xander suggested hopefully.
"Yes," I said. "Yes, we could."
So we did.
*****
END