w o u n d e d . n o t . e v e n . d e a d

Wounded, Not Even Dead

Rating: PG-13

Summary: Peter Pettigrew has his say.

Notes: Thanks to Jen, Pete/Melissa, Dot, and Meg. Written for Aspen for Project Ficlet. She provided this sentence: "It was never about trust. But you were never able to understand that, were you?"

Date: October 25, 2003

"It was never about trust. But you were never able to understand that, were you?"

Remus pulled at the bonds tying him to the chair, but Peter -- No, Wormtail, not Peter. Not for years. -- had made sure the ropes were tight.

"All I wanted was a little respect, but no! I was never good enough for that. To you lot, I was just weak, gormless Peter, fawning over James and putting up with Sirius's cruelty because I had no other friends. He tried to stamp out all the Black traits, but he was never quite successful, was he? He was cruel, but never to any point except to make James laugh.

"And you -- you of all people should have seen them for what they were. Vain arseholes who thought they were better than us. Idiots, fighting on the losing side--"

"But we didn't lose. We won."

"Because of Lily. She never liked me, you know. Told James I creeped her out. Mudblood bitch."

Peter's watery eyes bulged out of his pale, moon-shaped face, and Remus felt fear for the first time. He could beat Peter in a fight either physical or magical (If I can ever get these damned knots untied), but Peter seemed beyond reason, and that madness was frightening, the way loss of control was always frightening to Remus.

He forced himself to take a deep breath, to consider his options. He'd never been much good at wandless magic, though he'd studied it extensively, always worried his wand would be taken away by whatever new laws the Ministry passed to further circumscribe his life. He'd often wondered if they thought they could legislate him out of existence.

Peter was still ranting.

"I was the only one who saw what was happening. I was the only one clever enough to fool all of you. Oh, Sirius didn't want to believe it was you, but I wouldn't lie to him, would I? Not poor, stupid Peter. He thought he was so clever, but he handed James right to the Dark Lord."

"You handed James and Lily and Harry to Voldemort," Remus said, renewing his struggle against his bonds. He'd never asked Sirius about his suspicions, just accepted them as his due because of what he was. But it made a certain tragic sense now. Because Sirius would never have thought Peter capable of such a massive deception in those days.

"Yes."

"And look what it got you." Remus glanced disdainfully around the dungeon in which he was being held. Anti-Apparation wards kept him from simply Disapparating, and even with the extra strength being a werewolf lent his thin body, he couldn't just muscle his way out of the ropes. At least Peter hadn't put a full body bind on him.

"We underestimated you, and badly, much to our sorrow. What do you want me to say? We were wrong?"

"You-- you--" Peter spat at him. He ignored the spittle trickling down his cheek and kept his eye on his wand, which was tucked carelessly in Wormtail's back pocket. "You were nothing to them, Moony." He flinched at the name, so recently an endearment on Sirius's lips and now a taunt, a reminder of all that was lost. "They used you just as much as they used me. Only I figured it out long before you did. You were too busy bending over for Sirius, so happy someone would fuck you, you didn't care how he treated you or anyone else. You didn't care that he tried to make you a murderer. You forgave him. You always forgave him.

"Nobody ever forgives me." Peter's shoulders slumped, and he stared unseeingly at some point beyond Remus's left shoulder. "Forgive me, James," Peter whispered. He knelt and bowed his head, and Remus wondered what ghosts haunted this place, and which were the product of Peter's broken mind.

"Accio wand!" The wand came flying toward him, landing in his lap. With a muttered spell, he freed himself of his bonds before Peter could react. Pointing the wand, Remus said, "Stupefy." Peter, a shocked look on his pale face, slumped over.

He'd been waiting for this moment since the night he'd learned the truth, but when it came down to it, he wasn't able to kill his old friend. He stared down at Peter, and all he could feel was disgust, and sadness at the waste.

end

~*~

Back to Project Ficlet Index

Back to Harry Potter Stories Index

Back to Main Stories Index

~*~

Disclaimer: All Harry Potter characters belong to JK Rowling and Scholastic, etc. I do not own them and do not intend any infringement on any copyrights.