Unbalanced
by Victoria P.

 

Rating: R for language

Summary: Sequel to Shaz's Unbroken in Jenn's Not Unspoken series. Storm and Rogue have a conversation.

Notes: Thanks to Jenn for letting me play in her sandbox; to Andariel, Minisinoo and Shaz, who did such wonderful things before me; and to Dot, Meg, Jen and Pete, who assure me that while yes, I may be insane, at least I'm not harming anyone.

Date: September 24, 2001


As she returned from her nightly flight and touched down in the garden, Ororo was startled by the sight of Rogue lying on the grass.

"Storm," Rogue said.

"Rogue. It is a beautiful night to be out, isn't it?"

"I guess."

Storm lowered herself to the ground elegantly, as she did everything. "Do you want to talk about it?" she asked after a while.

"No."

"I know things are tense between you and Scott --"

"Don't." Rogue sat up abruptly, one hand outstretched. "Just don't."

"Don't what, child?"

"Don't be kind. Don't call me 'child.' Just -- *don't*, okay?" She pulled at the grass angrily. "I can't, I can't take it right now."

Storm nodded. Even in the dim light of the moon, she could see the strain on her best friend's face.

"He loves you," she offered finally.

"Yes."

Another long silence, which suited her fine. She had never been one to force words where they weren't needed, and since Rogue had absorbed Logan, she also seemed more comfortable with silence than she'd ever been before.

Rogue had always been a talker, filling up the day with chatter. Part of her Southern charm, Ororo thought. Now, words had failed her, and silence was all she had left.

The moonlighted limned Rogue's features, her pale skin seemingly carved of alabaster in the silvery light. Her hands still pulled at the grass idly. Her hands -- Storm bit her lip.

The ring was gone.

"Goddess," she breathed.

Rogue noticed the direction of her glance and laughed bitterly. "It didn't seem right to keep it. I don't want what it stands for."

"And what is that?" Storm kept her voice low, willing Rogue to confide in her.

"Duty. Honor. Commitment." She spat the words, still trying to maintain her anger.

"Not love?"

"Not the right kind of love. Or not the right *reason* behind it." The pile of grass beside her grew, and Ororo sighed internally. She was going to have to repair the damage to the lawn in the morning. If only she could repair the damage to Rogue's heart as easily.

"I can't believe Scott would break off the engagement--"

"He didn't." Again, the words were short, clipped. As if to say more would be to damage the purity of her suffering in silence. Or maybe it was that saying the words made them so. Growing up in her village, there had been many who'd believed that. "Far be it from me to stand in the way of true love."

Ororo contemplated the woman before her, the stars, the grass, the situation. Decided that maybe some tough love would work better than sympathy.

"Don't be a martyr, Rogue."

"Fuck off."

"That's not you talking, that's Logan."

"And what if it is? Dammit, 'Ro, I was happy. Scott was happy. Until that redheaded bitch--" Her voice finally broke and she gave in to the tears that had threatened all night.

Ororo wrapped an arm around her, rocked her quietly, rubbing her back.

"It's not Jean's fault," Rogue whispered after the tears had slowed to a trickle. "It's not anybody's fault. I know that, but *God*... Is it too much to ask that something work out for me? I mean, look at my life. Is one fucking thing too much to ask? One person who'll love me -- *only* me, and not be freaked out by my skin, or go running the first time some redheaded slut crooks her little finger?"

"Rogue--"

But the dam had burst. Rogue had had her fill of meaningful silences. Her voice had the scratchy quality of someone who's drunk too much whiskey and seen too much heartache. "You know the really fucked up thing? I actually feel *bad* for him. I know he wants to do the right thing. I know that he hasn't cheated on me. At least not physically."

"Is he willing to work it out with you?"

"Of course. He's Scott 'always does the right thing' Summers. Talk about your martyrs," she said viciously. "I took that option away. I thought I was being mature."

"Rogue, if he is willing to work it out, perhaps this is just a passing fancy. An, an aberration." But Storm knew as well as anyone how loyal Scott was, how he'd stay and make himself miserable rather than break a promise. And how wretched that would make Rogue feel. Not to mention Jean, whose only fault was existing.

The whole thing was giving Storm a headache. "Breaking the engagement -- are you sure you didn't do it just to hurt him?"

Rogue cocked her head, considering that. A shrug. "Maybe." Another long pause, then, "No. I can't ever trust him again." Rogue's eyes dropped to the grass she'd steadily been defacing, her voice became a whisper. "I can't ever let him touch me again. Because he'll be thinking of her."

"Oh, Rogue." Ororo's voice softened, and she felt guilty for doubting Rogue's motives.

"No. No, 'Ro, please." She blinked and sniffed, the torrent of tears over. "I don't know how I missed it. Logan -- Logan saw it from the moment they met."

"He told you?" Storm was surprised. Logan wasn't the most tactful or understanding creature, but he wasn't cruel. And he certainly wouldn't have sought to hurt Rogue.

"Up here." She pointed to her temple and Storm nodded. Rogue hadn't wanted to see it, had avoided it until it couldn't be ignored. "He's, he's right. Better to know now, before we got married. I guess the bitch is doing me a favor after all."

She stood quickly, as if realizing she'd said too much. "I need to find an empty room."

"Rogue, if you need me, you know where I am."

A tight smile that didn't reach eyes that looked black in the moonlight. "Yeah. Thanks. I, uh, I gotta go begin my life as a spinster lady. See you around." And she disappeared into the house.

Ororo sat on the grass, pondering the major changes taking place at the mansion. Things would be out of balance for a long time, but she felt sure equilibrium would return, the way the grass Rogue had torn out would grow back.

That was nature's way.

~*~

Unaccountable by Rei Kinneas

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Disclaimer: All X-Men characters belong to Marvel and Fox; this piece of fan-written fiction intends no infringement on any copyrights.