a l l . t h e . t h i n g s . y o u . d i d n ' t . s a y

All the Things You Didn't Say
[by victoria p.]

Rating: G

Summary: "Sometimes, it's easier not to say anything at all."

Notes: Thanks as always to Jen, Pete/Melissa, Dot, and Meg. written for silentfire, who requested "Lorelai. handkerchief. confused." Post-ep for The Incredible Sinking Lorelais.

Date: April 7, 2004

Lorelai is crying and you don't know what to say. If you were the hero in one of those movies she's always watching, you'd have the right words -- magic words to make everything better, bring the smile back to her face, the light to her eyes.

But you're not. You don't even have a handkerchief to offer her.

It's disconcerting to see her like this and it throws you off your game. You are startled when she says she was going to ask you for money at dinner.

You knew better than to get your hopes up -- that ship has long since sailed, and you have Nicole now, anyway, even if you don't know what the hell is going on there most of the time. But part of you wishes, when Lorelai's babbling on about having a partner to trust and lean on, like she is now, you wish she'd look at you and see more than a friend. That she'd ask you to dinner because she wants to eat and talk and be with you, not because she needs a helping hand and you're good, old, reliable Luke.

You want to say, "Hey, I make you coffee," but you can't. It's too close to the truth, and neither of you wants to acknowledge it. Either it will sink like a lead balloon and make everything awkward in the future, or she will force a joke and that will hurt almost as much, because the smile behind it wouldn't be real.

So you hold her until the tears stop, and then you walk her home, because that's what friends do.

You can afford to loan her the money -- give her the money, if it comes to that, and be a silent partner in the inn. You tell yourself it's because she's your friend and she needs it, but you know it's just one more way to make sure you stay in her life, and she in yours, when all the other men come and go.

But you don't say anything at all, except, "Good night," when you get to her door. She hugs you again and you inhale the scent of her shampoo, drop a furtive kiss on the top of her head that you can deny later if she brings it up.

When Nicole calls later, you don't say anything to her either. It's your money, your life. It's not as if you're keeping secrets. You just know that sometimes, it's easier not to say anything at all.

end

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Disclaimer: All Gilmore Girls characters belong Amy Sherman-Palladino and others who aren't me, etc. This piece of fan-written fiction intends no infringement on any copyrights.