s h a d e s . o f . g r a y

Shades of Gray
[by victoria p.]

Rating: G

Summary: "Faith knows the darkness is in all of them."

Notes: Thanks as always to Jen, Pete/Melissa, Dot, and Meg. written for nikitangel, who requested "Faith, crossbow, peaceful."

Date: March 12, 2004

There is always something peaceful about a cemetery at night, even with vampires popping out of their graves. Newly risen vamps are a piece of cake for Faith, who takes them down easily from her perch on a nearby mausoleum, crossbow in hand.

She found herself in Boston by accident, or so she'll tell anyone who asks, but there is no one who will ask, nowadays -- Robin went off to London to help Giles, and everyone else is scattered across the globe.

She thought she might head back to Los Angeles, until she heard about Angel's deal with Wolfram and Hart. The last thing she wants is to slide back into evil without even meaning it. She's no one's dupe. Not anymore.

She wonders how Angel's negotiating through the haze of gray that clouds their world; how Wes is dealing with it, if he uses his dead girlfriend's office as a sort of punishment. That'd be just like him.

Buffy believes, still, that things are divided into black and white. She has to, though there are always exceptions. Angel was good, then he was bad, now he's good again, but there is always a question mark, an undertone of fear in Buffy's voice when she mentions him, her, Spike.

Spike, a champion for good.

The Powers have some sense of humor.

It makes her laugh, sometimes, and she thinks that if she'd gotten into B's pants back when she'd first come to Sunnydale, maybe things would have turned out differently. Because Buffy can make excuses for her lovers, cut them slack no one else ever receives.

Well, no one but Willow, and there's another question mark, always teetering on the edge now, the way Faith does. The way they all do. The difference is, they haven't accepted it. Willow thinks she went mad with grief and it's all right now. Buffy thinks she can just purse her lips and give motivational speeches and everyone will toe her line.

Faith knows the darkness is in all of them, and that only knowledge of it, acceptance of it, can help keep it at bay. Because it's so easy to fall into, and so hard to climb back out.

She patrols her old neighborhood until the sun comes up, keeping it safe for people who did nothing to keep her safe when she was growing up. As the day begins, she hitches a ride west. Maybe she'll go see Angel after all, remind him that they're all living in shades of gray, but some lines should never be crossed.

end

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Disclaimer: All Buffy characters belong Joss Whedon, Mutant Enemy, etc. This piece of fan-written fiction intends no infringement on any copyrights.