Getting to Know You: Whitney Fordman

Getting to Know You:
Whitney Fordman
by Bonnie B.

Rating: R

Summary: Clark receives emails from friends and family in answer to the survey forwarded by Chloe.

Notes: A Round Robin begun out of boredom on AIM, by Jenn, Beth, Andy, Bonnie and me. *G* Hey, we make our own fun.

Date: April 23, 2002

Date: Sat, 13 Apr 2002 20:32:08 -0500
To: Clark <Clarkster@ksonline>, Pete <pross@hotmail.com>
From: Whitney <Whitney@thejockstrap.com>
Subject: Fwd: GTKY

1. Time is relative; what time do you want it to be?

Oct. 5, 2001, 9:47 pm We beat the Coyotes, my dad was there watching me, and Lana cheering on the side

2. While you're at it, go ahead, change your name to the one you always wanted:

Is this a crack about my name? Fuck you, Pete.

3. Speaking of relativity, ever dreamed about Einstein?

I'm 17, what do you think I dream about. It's sure as hell not Einstein.

4. On the subject of names, do you know your Star Wars name?

I'm not a Clark, oops, I mean geek.

5. If you answered yes to #4, do you embrace your inner geek and take her/him out for regular exercise?

a geek is not what I want to be embracing

6. Have you always lived on Earth?

yeah, that's it. I lived on another planet when I can't even get out of Smallville

7. Do you believe in extra-terrestrial life?

hey, I saw those crop circles on the Conner farm. And you know there are rumors about aliens causing the meteor showers. Big ones with glowing green eyes.

8. Well, they believe in you, and now they've invited you to their home world. With no guarantee of a return ticket, would you go?

I wish. Are the aliens hot? All right fine, no. my family needs me. I don't think I'm ever getting out of Smallville

9. If you could live anywhere on Earth, where would you live:

Dallas: cowboys and cheerleaders what else do you need?

10. Are you now, have you ever been, or do you dream of being an Elvis impersonator?

All right, I told you before, I didn't order the costume. It was a mistake. I wanted to be a cowboy. I was six. Who knew they made sideburns for a six year old?

11. Who might you have been in a previous life:

Billy the Kid or Dirk Diggler *leer*

12. What was your birthday:

the day I was born ya dumb ass

13. Are your favorite things animal, vegetable or mineral:

well, I'm dating a vegetable, animal I meant animal

14. Bright, shiny or glittery:

what am I, a girl?

15. Time to go shopping. Boutiques, the mall or online:

my parents store. whatever is surplus at the time

16. Actor/celebrity that tempts you enough to consider changing your sexual orientation, if just for one night:

fuck you. i'm not gay

I'm not.

Fine.

Keanu Reeves. But in Speed, he was too thin and pale in Matrix

17. Character -- book, film/TV -- that you really, really wish was real, if just for one night:

Young Guns guys hanging out, guns, horses

18. Rich or famous:

rich

19. Famous or infamous:

infamous people will always have that little glimmer of fear in their eyes. and that is respect people remember you, no matter what happens you're never washed up

20. Would you spy for your country?

hell yeah, I'd do whatever it takes

21. If you are, or have ever been, a spy for your country would you admit it?

not even with Chinese water torture, I'm a rock man

22. Least favorite colour:

anything pastel

23. Food you hate most:

school's mystery meat

24. Worst movie(s):

The English Patient, Lana made me see it worst fucking chick flick

25. TV show(s) you detest:

Dawson's Creek

26. We've all got guilty pleasures. Film/TV or book series that, rationally, you know is so bad it can curdle milk but you can't help but to watch/read anyway:

Temptation Island, have you seen the girls on that show? Aw, man! And Fear Factor. I would kick ass on that show!

27. Actor and/or celebrity you would pay to slap:

Carrot Top in those AT&T commercials

28. You've been offered a job that pays obscenely well. It's in porn. Would you accept the job offer?

Fuck yeah! Wait, it's not gay porn is it?

29. Didn't say you had to star. What if it was in production, advertising, sales and distribution...?

I'd rather star

30. If the opportunity arose, and you could get away with it, would you commit immeasurable acts of violence -- so horrific as to permanently scar the homicide detectives who will later work the case -- on Britney Spears?

can't I just fuck her instead?

31. If not Spears, then who:

I told you, two words: Carrot. Top.

32. Do you believe that the base ingredient in both Coke and Pepsi is carbonated battery acid?

who gives a shit? did Chloe make this question up?

33. Remember the cartoon strip the above question references?

what? no

34. Last comic book you read:

Spiderman. I loved those when I was a kid

35. If you could be any comic book hero or villain, who would you be:

GI Joe's Snake Eyes the guy was just fucking cool

36. Rice, potatoes or bread:

potatoes

37. Whipped cream, chocolate sauce or melted caramel:

all three

38. Who would you most like to lick #37 off of:

Jennifer Lopez's ass

39. Addicted?

huh?

40. Conflicted?

it's just hard sometimes. doing what I want to do or doing what my family needs me to do

41. Ever been one toke over the line?

the line is wherever you put it, so just put it on the other side

42. Ever been one toke over the line while sitting downtown at a railway station?

does drunk on a tractor count?

43. Have you ever done anything for which you *should* have been convicted?

heh, yeah but I'm a starter like anyone would fucking care

you better not send this to anyone else.

44. Planning to take over the world?

i'd settle for leaving Smallville and never looking back

45. What're gonna do with it if you're successful:

I am going to be successful.

46. Are you only happy when it rains?

happiness is overrated

47. Most importantly, apples or oranges:

oranges reminds me of peewee football and my mom would cut up orange slices for the team snack

~*~

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Disclaimer: All Smallville characters belong to Warner Bros., DC Comics and/or Tollin-Robbins. I do not own them and do not intend any infringement on their copyright.