Getting to Know You: Lex Luthor

Getting to Know You:
Lex Luthor
by Andariel

Rating: PG

Summary: Clark receives emails from friends and family in answer to the survey forwarded by Chloe.

Notes: A Round Robin begun out of boredom on AIM, by Jenn, Beth, Andy, Bonnie and me. *G* Hey, we make our own fun.

Date: April 23, 2002

From: Lex Luthor <AJL@LuthorCorp.com>
To: Clark <Clarkster@ksonline.net>
Sent: Sunday, April 14, 2002 9:21 PM
Subject: Re: Fwd: GTKY

Clark, if you show this to anyone, I won't be held responsible for my actions.

1. Time is relative; what time do you want it to be?

March of 1998 -- '98 was a very good year

2. While you're at it, go ahead, change your name to the one you always wanted:

I considered changing my name before I was threatened with disinheritance. I'll stick with what I've got, thanks.

3. Speaking of relativity, ever dreamed about Einstein?

Oh yeah... trails of purple in his hair and yellow flashing lights for eyes.

Like I said, '98 was a good year.

4. On the subject of names, do you know your Star Wars name?

Lutle Mesma

5. If you answered yes to #4, do you embrace your inner geek and take her/him out for regular exercise?

My inner geek is still in college. He can't stand the smell of Plant #3.

6. Have you always lived on Earth?

Do you consider hell to be "on Earth"? In that case, yes.

7. Do you believe in extra-terrestrial life?

Wouldn't be the strangest thing I've experienced in the past six months, so yes.

8. Well, they believe in you, and now they've invited you to their home world. With no guarantee of a return ticket, would you go?

Probably. I'd want to see a travel brochure first.

9. If you could live anywhere on Earth, where would you live:

Istanbul. I might be able to keep Dad off my ass there, and I like... kabobs.

10. Are you now, have you ever been, or do you dream of being an Elvis impersonator?

No, but I dated one... in '98

11. Who might you have been in a previous life:

Alexander the Great.

12. What was your birthday:

356 BC

13. Are your favorite things animal, vegetable or mineral:

Mineral. Many fun things to experiment with.

14. Bright, shiny or glittery:

Bright

15. Time to go shopping. Boutiques, the mall or online:

Personal shopper.

16. Actor/celebrity that tempts you enough to consider changing your sexual orientation, if just for one night:

Flipper

17. Character -- book, film/TV -- that you really, really wish was real, if just for one night:

Batman

18. Rich or famous:

Both

19. Famous or infamous:

Again, both

20. Would you spy for your country?

Not unless I could delegate.

21. If you are, or have ever been, a spy for your country would you admit it?

No.

22. Least favorite colour:

Traffic Cone Orange -- Vivid correlations to prison jumpsuits

Trust me, Clark. You don't want more specifics. Don't ask.

23. Food you hate most:

Vichyssoise -- cold fish soup is not a delicacy. It's a purgative.

24. Worst movie(s):

Steel Magnolias

25. TV show(s) you detest:

Kojak

26. We've all got guilty pleasures. Film/TV or book series that, rationally, you know is so bad it can curdle milk but you can't help but to watch/read anyway:

Starsky & Hutch

27. Actor and/or celebrity you would pay to slap:

I've never had to pay for that. Most of them seem to like it.

28. You've been offered a job that pays obscenely well. It's in porn. Would you accept the job offer?

Sure, but not for the money.

Clark, you're not forwarding this to anyone, right?

29. Didn't say you had to star. What if it was in production, advertising, sales and distribution...?

Same answer

30. If the opportunity arose, and you could get away with it, would you commit immeasurable acts of violence -- so horrific as to permanently scar the homicide detectives who will later work the case -- on Britney Spears?

I can think of people who deserve it more, so no.

31. If not Britney, then who:

No way in hell am I sending the answer to that in an unencrypted email.

32. Do you believe that the base ingredient in both Coke and Pepsi is carbonated battery acid?

I can prove it. Come visit my lab some time.

33. Remember the cartoon strip the above question references?

No.

34. Last comic book you read:

Warrior Angel

35. If you could be any comic book hero or villain, who would you be:

Same as 34

36. Rice, potatoes or bread:

Rice

37. Whipped cream, chocolate sauce or melted caramel:

Whipped cream

38. Who would you most like to lick #37 off of:

The answer would get me arrested. No comment.

39. Addicted?

Not any more, unfortunately

40. Conflicted?

Most of the time, but I choose to ignore it. Makes life less complicated.

41. Ever been one toke over the line?

God, yes -- most of 98.

42. Ever been one toke over the line while sitting downtown at a railway station?

There were no witnesses. You can't prove a thing.

43. Have you ever done anything for which you *should* have been convicted?

Clark, is this a set-up? NO COMMENT

44. Planning to take over the world?

I'm nothing if not ambitious.

45. What're gonna do with it if you're successful:

You'll find out in a few years.

46. Are you only happy when it rains?

Depends on who's standing in it.

47. Most importantly, apples or oranges:

Depends on who's delivering.

~*~

GTKY - Jonathan Kent

Back to GTKY Index Index

Back to Smallville Stories Index

Back to Main Stories Index

~*~

Disclaimer: All Smallville characters belong to Warner Bros., DC Comics and/or Tollin-Robbins. I do not own them and do not intend any infringement on their copyright.