Getting to Know You: Jonathan Kent

Getting to Know You:
Jonathan Kent
by Jenn

Rating: PG

Summary: Clark receives emails from friends and family in answer to the survey forwarded by Chloe.

Notes: A Round Robin begun out of boredom on AIM, by Jenn, Beth, Andy, Bonnie and me. *G* Hey, we make our own fun.

Date: April 23, 2002

Date: Sun, 14 Apr 2002 19:10:02 -0500
To: Clark (Clarkster@ksonline.net); Martha (mrskent@kentorganicgoodness.com)
From: Dad (Jon@kentorganicgoodness.com)
Subject: Re: Fwd: GTKY

Son, you're spending too much time on the internet.

1. Time is relative; what time do you want it to be?

That fancy-ass science crap doesn't work in the real world. Time is time.

2. While you're at it, go ahead, change your name to the one you always wanted:

My cousin used to call me 'Bo'. I sorta liked it.

3. Speaking of relativity, ever dreamed about Einstein?

Never thought about it.

4. On the subject of names, do you know your Star Wars name?

What the hell is that?

5. If you answered yes to #4, do you embrace your inner geek and take her/him out for regular exercise?

I'm not a geek.

6. Have you always lived on Earth?

Yeah.

7. Do you believe in extra-terrestrial life?

Son, we need to talk about this.

8. Well, they believe in you, and now they've invited you to their home world. With no guarantee of a return ticket, would you go?

I'm not answering these silly-ass questions.

9. If you could live anywhere on Earth, where would you live:

Smallville was good enough for my old man and it's good enough for me.

10. Are you now, have you ever been, or do you dream of being an Elvis impersonator?

Nope.

11. Who might you have been in a previous life:

I don't believe in all that 'reincarntin' crap.

12. What was your birthday:

Summer

13. Are your favorite things animal, vegetable or mineral:

Cows appeal to me in a strangely way..

14. Bright, shiny or glittery:

This a question?

15. Time to go shopping. Boutiques, the mall or online:

I go down to Fordman's. All my family shops there, has for generations.

16. Actor/celebrity that tempts you enough to consider changing your sexual orientation, if just for one night:

This is ridiculous. Clark, why the hell did you send this to me?

17. Character -- book, film/TV -- that you really, really wish was real, if just for one night:

Huh. While back I watched this show with this great car. Can't remember what it was called, Lee something, but they drove it around the country. I could do that.

18. Rich or famous:

I'd rather be dirt-poor but honest.

19. Famous or infamous:

Famous, I guess.

20. Would you spy for your country?

I'm a patriot. If my country called, I'd answer.

21. If you are, or have ever been, a spy for your country would you admit it?

22. Least favorite colour:

lavender

23. Food you hate most:

Creamed corn

24. Worst movie(s):

Sleepless in Seattle. Pointless crap.

25. TV show(s) you detest:

Those teeny-bopper WB shows.

26. We've all got guilty pleasures. Film/TV or book series that, rationally, you know is so bad it can curdle milk but you can't help but to watch/read anyway:

Bonanza

27. Actor and/or celebrity you would pay to slap:

What the hell does that mean?

28. You've been offered a job that pays obscenely well. It's in porn. Would you accept the job offer?

No way in hell!

29. Didn't say you had to star. What if it was in production, advertising, sales and distribution...?

I'm not playing this, son.

30. If the opportunity arose, and you could get away with it, would you commit immeasurable acts of violence -- so horrific as to permanently scar the homicide detectives who will later work the case -- on Britney Spears?

Who's she?

31. If not Spears, then who:

No comment.

32. Do you believe that the base ingredient in both Coke and Pepsi is carbonated battery acid?

No.

33. Remember the cartoon strip the above question references?

What cartoon?

34. Last comic book you read:

X-Men

35. If you could be any comic book hero or villain, who would you be:

I don't hold with villians, and that 'superhero' crap is just dangerous.

36. Rice, potatoes or bread:

Potatoes

37. Whipped cream, chocolate sauce or melted caramel:

For what?

38. Who would you most like to lick #37 off of:

I'm not answering that!

39. Addicted?

What?

40. Conflicted?

I have no idea what the hell that means.

41. Ever been one toke over the line?

I have NEVER used any drugs in my life. You hear that, son? Drugs are for those who can't cope.

42. Ever been one toke over the line while sitting downtown at a railway station?

This is getting silly.

43. Have you ever done anything for which you *should* have been convicted?

Never. Kent men are honest.

44. Planning to take over the world?

No.

45. What're gonna do with it if you're successful:

I said no.

46. Are you only happy when it rains?

We're not one of those prissy-ass corporations with their fancy irrigation crap. We're organic--we let nature do what it's supposed to. So yes, I am happy when it rains. It's good for the crops.

47. Most importantly, apples or oranges:

Oranges.

~*~

GTKY - Martha Kent

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~*~

Disclaimer: All Smallville characters belong to Warner Bros., DC Comics and/or Tollin-Robbins. I do not own them and do not intend any infringement on their copyright.