f i g h t . y o u r . s e c r e t . w a r

Fight Your Secret War
[by victoria p.]

Rating: PG

Summary: You said I scared you, well I guess you scared me, too.

Notes: Written for Snacky and k. I no longer have the specifics of the requests, except that it was Cordelia for both, and Snacky's involved the line "You said I scared you, well I guess you scared me, too" from the song "Joey" by Concrete Blonde. (see summary)

Date: April 30, 2005

Cordelia slips into the jantiors' closet and lies in wait for Xander. She's free this period and it's not like he cares about missing Chem lab.

They don't have to sneak around anymore, but it gives them both a good kind of thrill (as opposed to the "Oh, my God, we're going to die" kind of thrill they've all experienced a little too often since Buffy came to town), so they do it anyway.

Xander is startled when she grabs him and pulls him into the closet, but he manages to hit the wall behind her instead of her face with his fist.

"God, Cordy," he says, eyes wide, lower lip trembling. He looks so shocked that she comforts him, even though she was nearly the one on the wrong end of a punch. And despite her teasing, he doesn't punch like a girl. Not anymore.

She strokes a hand through his hair and kisses him, just a soft touch of lip to lip at first. He relaxes under her touch, and she can tell when the tension changes from fear into lust. She doesn't think (much) about her manicure as she unbuttons first her shirt and then his in a rush, pushing them aside so she can feel his skin warm and soft against hers.

He winces at the touch of her hand, though, jolting her out of the pleasurable haze. And when she opens her eyes, he's pulling his shirt closed, but she can still see the bruise on his chest.

"What-- I thought last night was quiet?"

He looks down, away, anywhere but at her, and she knows whatever he says (and he says, "It was an accident.") is a lie.

"Xander." Everybody knows your parents are drunks who beat you, hovers on the tip of her tongue. Six months ago -- three months ago, even -- she'd have said it and enjoyed the quickly hidden hurt in his eyes. Now she feels faintly sick, both at the idea that she'd have enjoyed hurting him and that his parents obviously do it often.

The bottles of ammonia and floor wax are nowhere near as interesting as her breasts, but he doesn't look at her until she tips his chin up with her hand.

"Xander," she says again, letting some exasperation show through the tenderness because she hasn't gone completely soft, and kisses him. He presses her back against the wall, moaning into her mouth, and she wraps her arms around him.

She can't keep him safe -- no one can keep any of them safe -- but for a little while, she pretends she can.

end

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Disclaimer: All BtVS characters belong to Joss Whedon, Mutant Enemy etc. This piece of fan-written fiction intends no infringement on any copyrights.