f e a r . i t s e l f

Fear, Itself
[by victoria p.]

Rating: PG

Summary: Natalie copes.

Notes: Thanks as always to Jen, Pete/Melissa, Dot, and Meg. Written for Erica, who requested "Natalie, hairbrush, fear." Takes place sometime during the episode "Mary Pat Shelby."

Date: March 15, 2004

Her hand trembles as she pulls the brush through her hair. She stares at herself in the mirror and sees the same face she's seen every day of her life. Nothing looks different, but inside, everything has changed.

She feels older. She doesn't think she can do anything anymore, because she's learned there are things she is afraid of -- real things, not monsters under the bed or vampires in the closet.

She tries to rally -- it's not like you've never seen a dick before, she tells herself. You've seen plenty, up close and personal. Well, maybe not that many, but still...

It's not working.

She has to finish dressing so she can go to work and pretend this never happened, pretend her arm isn't purpling with large finger-shaped bruises where he grabbed her, pretend it isn't sort to the touch, pretend her heart doesn't kick-start and thump against her ribs every time someone gets too close.

She never used to be afraid of anything, but now, as she gets on the subway, she clutches her bag close and hunches her shoulders, psyching herself up so she can be on at work, be confident, strong Natalie again, instead of this scared little girl she hates.

end

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Disclaimer: All SportsNight characters belong Aaron Sorkin and others who aren't me, etc. This piece of fan-written fiction intends no infringement on any copyrights.