c a t c h . a . f i r e

Catch a Fire
[by victoria p.]

Rating: PG

Summary: "The thing about Bobby Drake is he's so damn enthusiastic."

Notes: Thanks as always to Jen, Pete/Melissa, Dot, and Meg. Written for savage_midnight, who requested XMM and the song "Ghost" by Indigo Girls. (Inspired by the line I'd walk into the fingers of your fire willingly.) Title from Bob Marley.

Date: August 18, 2004

The thing about Bobby Drake is he's so damn enthusiastic, John thinks as he watches Bobby watch Rogue watch for Logan. Bobby throws himself into everything whole-heartedly and without reservation, and he always, always ends up on his ass with his heart broken, and he comes crying back to John.

It's kind of funny, really, how uncool Iceman is, considering. You'd think he'd be the one able to set things on fire, because Bobby believes -- he believes in Xavier, and he believes in love, and it shines from his eyes like a pure blue flame.

John doesn't believe in anything but himself and his zippo, which is why when Magneto makes a better offer, he takes it.

He doesn't expect to see Bobby again, certainly doesn't expect to feel the sharp steady ache in his chest when he does, an ache that makes it hard to breathe, as if the fire he's directing has taken up residence there and is burning the oxygen before his lungs can process it.

He's not paying attention to anything but Bobby in that tight leather suit, and so when the blow comes, he goes down, flattened like a cheap doublewide in the path of a force ten hurricane.

***

The thing about St. John Allerdyce, Bobby thinks, is that he doesn't give a damn about anything. He's wrapped up in his own little world, and it revolves around what he wants and what he needs, and Bobby was sick of it a long time before John actually left.

It's only after he's gone that Bobby realizes how much time they spent together, how perfectly they fit, how all the jokes about fire and ice were really hiding a truth so basic that the revelation of it hits him like the proverbial wrecking ball.

He wants Rogue, and he loves her, but he needs John in ways that go deeper than love, down to blood and bone; without him, Bobby feels like a ghost, drifting through the hallways of the mansion. And the worst thing is, no one even notices.

Dr. Grey is dead, Scott's a freaking basketcase, and Rogue has ditched him, choosing to spend her time trailing around after Logan like a lost puppy.

Bobby wonders, sometimes, how much of John she's got in her head, but when he asks, she just shakes her head and walks away. Seems like he should be getting used to people doing that, should be as stone cold as his code name, but he can't. He won't.

He's not surprised at the sharp lurch he feels in his chest on seeing John again, on the other side, but he's focused, calm and cool, everything an X-Man should be; he doesn't let his hands shake until after Piotr has knocked John out, but they don't stop shaking until John, lying in the med lab, pale as paper, opens his eyes.

"Hey," John says, voice scratchy from sleep.

"Hey," Bobby answers. "Welcome home."

John laughs, which turns into a cough, and Bobby offers him a glass of water, specially chilled by his own hand. John sits up and drinks, and Bobby pushes sweaty hair off John's warm forehead. John's always so warm to the touch, and god, Bobby's missed waking up warm and tangled in the sheets next to him.

"Wouldn't be too sure of that," John answers.

Bobby just smiles, sure he can persuade John to stay this time.

end

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