Writers should be read -- but neither seen nor heard.
~Daphne DuMaurier

Peeps & Roaches

aka Rants & Raves

Forgive us if we don't agree with Ms. DuMaurier's second point. This is where we'll air our opinions, both rants and raves.

Why Peeps & Roaches? Probably because Victoria believes they are the only things which would survive a nuclear apocalypse. And yes, she has thought way too much about this.

She'll probably be the only one ranting [or, as I've been informed, blogging - what a dumbass coinage] for now. The others all have lives.

 

June 2001

~~*~~*~~

June 30, 2001

12:25 am EDT, victoria
I hate people. People are stupid. Some lackwit pulled the emergency brake on the A train this evening, which made them take the train out of service and dump us all off at Broadway-Nassau.

I drank 36 ounces of frozen alcoholic beverages, not to mention about 24 oz of water. Needless to say, I had to piss like a racehorse, and I was incredibly unhappy about being thrown off the train at the half-way point.

Another train came fairly quickly, and I got a seat, but still, you can see why I was upset, yes?

As for the frozen alcoholic beverages, let me once again sing the praises of Dallas BBQ, which sells those fishbowl sized drinks for $2 less than Fridays does. I had a strawberry daiquiri at BBQ's, then a frozen mudslide at Fridays, for dessert.

Ran into Passive-Aggressive Canadian Boy at Fridays, too. He didn't remember my name, but he knew I looked familiar. Ah yes, I spent ten days harassing you in Washington, dude. You should remember my face. (It wasn't a personal thing, it was a work thing. And he didn't give us the love we were looking for - in the professional way. Look, you'd have to know my old boss to understand. She needs to feel the love, and PACB didn't bring the love. He brought that Passive-Aggressive, overly-polite, but you know they hate us, Canadian type thing, until the last day. Then he was willing to share our Dom Perrignon and celebrate the end of the conference. Heh. Good champagne makes friends of everyone.

Hey, that might even be witty. No, not witty. Not profound, either. Dammit. It's a shame those foofy drinks didn't give me a nice buzz. Just gave me a food coma. I'm feeling all mellow... That's new. I kinda like it.

~~*~~*~~

 

June 28, 2001

1:45 am EDT, victoria
Saw Depeche Mode tonight at the Garden.

15 years too late.

The band was tight and sharp and Dave and Martin sounded wonderful, but dammit, they did mostly new stuff and crap - I could make a whole other set list of things they didn't play that I wanted to hear.

I mean, no "Shake the Disease", no "Question of Lust", no "Just Can't Get Enough", no "Master and Servant"...

They did do "Enjoy the Silence", and "Personal Jesus" was quite the highlight, but how could they end with "Never Let Me Down"? First off, one of my least favorite DM songs, and second, I would have thought now that DG is clean, he wouldn't sing his big drug song anymore...

So now I'm listening to my DM cds... Now listening to "Question of Time" which kind of gives me a fic idea for L/R... "I've got to get to you first, / before they do, / it's just a question of time, / before they lay their hands on you / and make you just like the rest, / i've got to get to you first/ now you're only 15 but you look good / i'll take you under my wing/ somebody should / they've persuasive ways / and you'll believe what they say / it's just a question of time and it's running out for you..."

The only concert I've been to that disappointed me more was Smashing Pumpkins in Oct [Nov?] 1994. They sucked. It was the only time I've ever been tempted to walk out in the middle of a show.

Of course, the best part is that I went with Lee, who's the only friend from high school I'm still in touch with. High school was a miserable experience, and if it hadn't been for music, specifically, music like Depeche Mode, the Cure, the Smiths and all the other new wave/modern rock '80s bands we were into, I don't know that I would have made it.

Trite as it sounds, in some ways, I think music saved my life when I was a teenager. It allowed me to make friends when I was pretty much unable to do so...

~~*~~*~~

 

June 25, 2001

3:15 pm EDT, victoria
The Rangers traded Adam Graves. Waaahhh!

And there's talk that the Mets might trade Robin Ventura to the Mariners, if they don't turn things around by the trade deadline.

This is why I swear to myself that I'm not going to get attached to a player anymore -- root for the team [the uniform, as Seinfeld says] and forget the individual players, because they're like ships that pass in and out of the harbor, or some such sea-faring metaphor.

But somehow, these hardworking, lunchpail, smashmouth guys get me every time. Never the glamour boys, oh, no. You can keep your finesse players. I always like the guys who finish their checks and grind it out in the corners. Graves scored a goal with his face! You can't beat that. And Ventura is the best damn third baseman in the game right now... Sigh. And they're both adorably cute [in my opinion. Graves does NOT look like a corpse, dammit!].

My interview went well, until I mentioned the part about me having a vacation already planned for the first week of August. Whoops! Hope it's not a deal-breaker. I'll bag on the vacay if I have to... hell, I've been off for 5 months. Missing out on 7 days at Lake George ain't gonna kill me. <g>

I've had way more caffeine than I should have, considering it always has a bad effect on me, and also that I haven't really had much since I stopped working. Yet I sucked down 16 ounces of iced black coffee like it was water after the interview. Yummy. I miss my toasted poppy with CC and my iced coffee, black every morning. Not the caffeine [hell, I do better without it, as anyone who's seen me caffeinated will tell you], but the whole ritual of it. And the bagel, yeah.

Bagels are the staff of life.

 

~~*~~*~~

 

June 24, 2001

4:00 am EDT, victoria
Insomnia Lass strikes again. I fucking hate not being able to sleep. I swear to God. I went to bed early tonight because last night I didn't get to sleep 'til 5 am. I slept for a couple of hours, and then - boom! - wide awake. It's just so wrong.

 

~~*~~*~~

 

June 23, 2001

7:00 pm EDT, victoria
I finally did get in touch with the HR woman, so my interview is set for Monday morning. Yay me! Keep your fingers crossed. I just know I'm going to get my period on Monday, making me even more miserable as I have to wear pantyhose and a suit in the June heat and humidity. I need to buy me a garter belt and some stockings.

Is there anyone less cut out for corporate life than I? *g*

I haven't been sleeping, either, which is going to make getting back to work even harder. On the plus side, I've been getting some writing done. Set a White Castle on fire - you can't beat that with a stick. *g*

And I finally realized [yeah, I'm dense sometimes] that I have a crush on Rogue. It's the only thing that makes sense. I haven't had a girl crush in a long time. Well, unless you count CJ from West Wing, but who doesn't have a crush on CJ? She's the coolest. I want to be CJ when I grow up. *g*

~~*~~*~~

June 21, 2001

7:30 pm EDT, victoria
Okay, so I went on those two job interviews, right? I got a call back from one of the HR people I met with on Tuesday, when I wasn't home. So I call her back first thing yesterday morning, and then spend all of yesterday waiting for her to call me back. And most of today.

I called her again this afternoon, because is there anything worse than waiting around for the phone to ring? But she wasn't there.

I hate playing phone tag. Sigh.

~~*~~*~~

June 20, 2001

7:50 pm Sydney, Yasminke
Here's a good example of Murphy's law (aka sod's law).

Since I moved here, there have been times when travel on state public transport has been free. Not because of the generosity of the government's heart, but because workers are protesting changes in workmen's comp. I have no problem with that action. But, why, oh why, do they always do it the day after I buy my weekly travel pass? Now, the free transport is "indefinite" which means I am out $32 freaking dollars.

How much ya wanna bet that this does NOT last until the weekend, when I could really benefit?

~~*~~*~~

 

June 19, 2001

9:25 pm EDT, victoria
I'm like an html-izing machine today. Did all my big stories for the XMMFF archive, then updated this site. I still have to get Mutant Bride up on Muse's Fool. Sigh.

Watching Witchblade and switching to the Mets game on commercial. I really gotta get me a life. I did write my first Homicide fic today. Technically. At 3 am last night. Mikey and Frank -- I guess I've had it in my head since Forgive Us Our Trespasses, because Mikey gets to say, "It wouldn't *be* Bayliss, huh?" Also killed Giles off again. And poor Mariko. I'm just on this angsty kick, I guess.

I am so PMSing and craving ice cream. I wonder if that's what the angst is all about.

Okay, how is it possible that Carrot Top is still getting work, let alone a national ad campaign? Yeesh. Some things are just beyond understanding.

 

~~*~~*~~

 

June 17, 2001

11:50 pm EDT, victoria
Happy Father's Day!

Spent my evening watching the Mets -- did you see that comeback? Woohoo! -- and html-izing.

Such an exciting life I lead.

~~*~~*~~  

June 15, 2001

10:10 pm EDT, victoria
These Mets-Yankees games kill me.

Yeah, I'm a Mets fan.

Roger Clemens is a punkass bitch. And Steinbrenner's a putz, just for the record.

I can't believe Piazza just got thrown out at the plate. Dammit! Why was he trying to score? Grr. Arrgh. Bad baserunning is their bane.

~~*~~*~~

June 14, 2001

8:30 pm EDT, victoria
Pink.

I don't get it. Nicole, my 2 1/2 year old niece, is about as far from being a girly girl as any child I've ever encountered. I mean, this kid was growling before she was talking. And yet, like millions of girls (myself included, once upon a time) she's fallen prey to pink. Or, as Alyssa, my oldest niece, used to say, "Pink-my-favorite-color" as though it were all one word. Is liking pink some genetic thing, inbred into females through a thousand generations? I don't get it. Not at all.

 

~~*~~*~~

June 13, 2001

9:15 pm EDT, victoria
So both interviews went pretty well. I wrote my thank you letters and hope to hear back about second interviews sometime next week.

I thought of Dot while I was in the ladies' room in the Citicorp Center -- they have those automatic flush toilets, and I was wearing all black (of course) so it took a while for the sensor to kick in there, and on the faucet as well. I was so happy she told me that that's what it was. I was starting to question my own existence when those things never worked for me.

I just got home because I was at the 'rents, waiting for my brother. Every year, for Father's Day, my brother-in-law barbecues, usually filet mignon. This year, my brother picked up the steaks from Stu Leonard's. Now, I admit to having a thing about supermarkets (most likely stemming from ugly and traumatic childhood incidents in which I was consistently mistaken for a little boy because of the stupid pixie cut my dad insisted on), so I don't like food shopping, but can Stu Leonard's really be that great a place? I've never been. Can it compare to the Price Chopper up near Lake George? That is the empress of supermarkets. Even I, with my "issues," *g* don't mind shopping there.

#2 Quote of the day: "I'm in some hellish hold world of holding!" Josh Lyman, The West Wing.

#1 Quote of the day: "They won't let me smoke in the White House, but they let Ainsley pee in Leo's closet?!" Jed Bartlet, TWW.

I love that show

 

~~*~~*~~

June 12, 2001

10:05 pm EDT, victoria
Have I mentioned that I love Robin Ventura? Two home runs tonight. He's the MAN. And Timo Perez is hitting for the cycle - he just needs a homer. Maybe the Mets are coming out of their funk.

I have two interviews tomorrow. I hate going on interviews. I really hate having to put a suit and pantyhose on when it's going to be 90 freaking degrees out. Sigh. But I have to start working soon. Money's not gonna last forever...

 

~~*~~*~~

 

June 10, 2001

9:15 pm EDT, victoria
So I watched Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon and sent out a bunch of resumes. Now I'm watching Sex and the City. Chris Noth is amazingly sexy. There's this online personality test somewhere, and you know I turned out as Miranda (the redheaded lawyer). I could have told you that without even taken the test. *g*

 

~~*~~*~~

 

June 9, 2001

11:15 pm EDT, victoria
Oh well, the Devils didn't do it. But I'm thrilled for Ray Bourque. Finally! I have to watch to see them give him the cup, so he can carry it around. He looks like a little kid. It's making me a little teary. Sigh. I love hockey.

~~*~~*~~

6:30 pm EDT, victoria
Ah, Saturday. Just had a scrumptious steak - pan-fried, rare - a bottle of Molson Golden, and the Belmont Stakes... a meal fit for a goddess. Which I am, of course. *g*

It's a shame Mike Piazza couldn't hit a three-run homer. He grounded into a double-play to end the inning. Urg. I can't believe the Mets are losing to the Devil Rays again.

~~*~~*~~

1:00 am EDT, victoria
Okay, the neighbors are back on the J. Lo tip again. Now I'm wishing that hydrochloric acid really was burning my eardrums...okay, not really, but it's a good metaphor for what her "music" does to me. Blurgh.

~~*~~*~~

June 8, 2001

12:40 pm EDT, victoria
The ear drops have hydrochloric acid in 'em. Does anyone else find that a little disturbing?

~~*~~*~~

June 7, 2001

8:20 pm EDT, victoria
I had a wad of cotton in my ear.

The doctor [ENT, for those who were wondering] told me not to put anything in my ears anymore, and pulled it out.

I can hear again! Woohoo!

He said I have minor otitis because of the cotton, to keep using the drops for a couple of days and everything will be fine.

Color me embarrassed.

Back to back homers for the Mets. Woohoo!

And Go Devils! The Cup could be theirs tonight.

Also, I'm rooting for the Sixers. How can you not?

~~*~~*~~

June 6, 2001

9:15 pm EDT, victoria
D-Day.

So I go to the doctor and learn that there's apparently no infection in my excruciatingly painful right ear. So tomorrow I've got to go to the ear doctor. Otiologist, I guess. Unless he's an ear, nose and throat guy. Then he's an otolaryngologist.

The things you learn working in a hospital, eh?

I did get a prescription for ear drops, which should be fun to administer. These are the only times I dislike living alone. Like when you're sick and there's no one else to clean up after you or hold your head out of the toilet. The other time I don't like it is when I need help zipping up a dress. Sigh.

Still tired. Tried to go to bed early last night, wound up getting up at 1:30 and writing 'til almost 4 am. Sigh. Came up with a great [I think, anyway] idea for a story this afternoon in the cab on the way to the doctor, so I got that written this afternoon. Just waiting for the beta now.

~~*~~*~~

June 5, 2001

11:55 pm EDT, victoria
My brother-in-law came home today. We're all happy about that.

My ear is killing me. I'm going to see if I can't get to the doctor tomorrow and get some good drugs to take care of it.

So I'm working on the Mutant Princess Bride story. I suck at fight scenes. Thank god I've got the book in addition to a transcript [which is really saving on some of the typing]. If I'm going to steal, I may as well steal from the best.

Why am I so freakin' tired?

Anyhow, I sent out a bunch of resumes this week, but I haven't heard anything at all yet. I know it's early yet, but still... it'd be nice if someone were interested in me. I mean, I'm a damn fine worker.

Blogging. Am I the only one who thinks it sounds like some obscure term for masturbating? I guess it kind of is, in a way. I mean, in a metaphorical way. Or not. I'm not wedded to the idea or anything. *g*.

~~*~~*~~

June 4, 2001

9:55 pm EDT, victoria
My brother-in-law made it through his surgery. He's in a room and expects to come home tomorrow. He had his gall bladder out laparoscopically. My mom had that done a couple of years ago, after she was ill for months and months, and refused to go to the doctor.

Devils are winning, which is good. I'd love to see them win it Thursday [?] night at the Meadowlands. Sigh. I love hockey.

~~*~~*~~

1:30 pm EDT, victoria
I have an earache. I haven't had one since I was about 12. It's killing me. I should call the doctor. Bleh. It really hurts, though.

 

~~*~~*~~

June 3, 2001

12:00 pm EDT, victoria
More wacky dreamtime with vic.

So I'm in New Orleans, a favorite setting for my dreams. My parents are involved in a Monopoly tournament [?] and I hang out at this smoky little club with all these cool chicks. Who one day turn on me, and chase me out into the street.

Which turns out to be Canal Street, but in New York, not N'awlins.

So I hail a cab to get away from them (they're becoming violent) and we start heading uptown toward the Midtown Tunnel. My cabbie is Chinese, from Beijing. Ten years in this country, he tells me, and his English is excellent. I decide I want to take the Brooklyn Bridge home, because it's faster, and cheaper -- no toll. He turns around and we head back downtown.

I get out of the cab at the heliport down at the tip of the island, and it turns into LaGuardia or something, and this Ann Jillian-looking woman takes me in hand. Apparently she's been waiting for me. I don't know why. She explains to me that my cabdriver is a spy and that I have plans or something that he's looking for. She hustles me to the gate, where all the women who were so mean to me are waiting. I'm trying to get my stuff together, because I've got my ID and money and maxipads all hanging out of various pockets of various bags I'm carrying.

These nasty women don't believe I'm part of their little operation, but then this old lady from the New Orleans jazz club appears and gives me an envelope containing two Metrocards, a wad of cash, and a car key. This proves to them that I'm legit. I pull out my cell phone and call my mother, telling her I might not be making it home; Ann Jillian tells me that was a very bad idea. I am very sheepish.

We get on the plane, which barely makes takeoff, because someone is shooting at us. When we finally land, I pick up the rental car and we all pile in. They are exultant. Apparently, the mission is now complete. And they are unmasked as Neo Nazis whom I've just helped steal a nuclear warhead. I try to get away from them. I run to a bank of phones. I don't know who I'm going to call, I don't even know where I am, and my friend Glenda walks into the terminal with this man. I tell her what's happening quickly, because I know I'm being chased.

Then I wake up.

One day I'll figure out what N'awlins means in my dream vocabulary. I've only been there twice, though if I'd stayed at my job, I'd have gone there numerous times this year, since we held a big research forum there back in march, which I planned. And the national conference is there in November.

Ooh, my neighbors have finally decided to play something good. "Maria Maria" by Santana has just followed "Unpretty" by TLC. But it's just been cut off. Dammit, why can't they play that a few times. Arrgh. It's just been replaced by J.Lo. Evil!

~~*~~*~~

2:25 am EDT, victoria
I'm gonna rant for a bit here.

Once again the question of beta readers has reared its ugly head. All I can say is, use one, dammit! I swear to god, if you're that good a writer, you should have enough confidence in your work to allow others to pick it apart. Don't get all high and mighty because you think you don't need one. I'm going to sound like a conceited bitch now, but I don't care. Watch out...

I know my writing is technically sound. I know I'm grammatically and punctuationally [? is that a word, even?] correct and that I'm pretty damn good at telling a story. That doesn't mean I can't get better. We can all improve, always. Otherwise, we're just dead, writing formula crap by rote.

It seems to me that the people who need beta readers most are, in many cases, the ones who refuse to even consider the possibility. And that's sad, because they're never going to improve, because they never see that anything is wrong. There are some people who turn out fine work without one. And that's great. I still think it's a good idea to have someone else eyeball your stuff. You would do it at work or in school, right? Don't your readers deserve that same respect and courtesy?

On another note, the baby came home today. She's just too sweet. I wanna snuggly hug her all day. Her brother and sister, who were adamantly opposed to the whole idea of a baby sister, have been charmed against their will into liking her. Who can resist little baby fingers and toes?

I'll stop now before I descend into maudlin and embarrassing baby talk.

~~*~~*~~

June 1, 2001

1:30 pm EDT, victoria
I keep saying my next-door neighbors are extremely loud, right? Well, if I haven't said it before, I'm saying it now.

In addition to playing freakin' Jennifer Lopez at all hours of the night (and why is it that no one ever plays good music loud enough to shake the foundations of the house?), they play the television so loud that when I'm in my bedroom, it's like their TV is in here with me. And the phone... What is that about? This morning I was woken up not by the ringing of my own phone, which annoys me enough, but by the ringing of THEIR phone!

That's just so wrong!

I suppose it's better than the OJ Simpson wannabe who used to live there. I swear I thought he was beating his wife. I used to pick the phone up to dial 911, listening to them fight. ::shudder:: Scary.

~~*~~*~~

May 2001

 

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